The marriage celebration left me in so much amusement. This was not because of how elaborate the wedding was or how much people displayed their love by making themselves present for the celebration ( I was stunned by the population that day).
I couldn’t really believe I was getting married to the exact picture of the woman I have always fantasised, she is beautiful, cultured, outspoken, purpose driven , and most importantly, a lover of God.
The wedding ceremony was over and I was proud of myself because I kept my promise to wait till the night of my wedding before having a sexual intimacy with her..
It was 10pm, the jamboree was over and we were both left alone to face the reality of marriage. We prayed together for the first time as a couple.
After the prayers, my hormones were terribly pushing me to put them into action and the thought of entering into her “”holies of holies”” flooded my mind, I couldn’t resist it ( I waited for so long for this night).
I decided to make the first move, but she said to me, “Daniel, i’m so tired”. As an understanding person I decided to let her be that night since we have both planned to spend 2 weeks for our honeymoon.
It’s three (3) week since we got married and we have not had sex, she kept on giving me different excuses. It is either she says she is tired or she is not in the mood.
I became confused at this point, she has been so loving and caring, she cooks and performs her duties as a wife. Our family prayer has been steady ( thanks to her).
But the only issue is that we have not been able to consummate the relationship. After two months, we decided to visit a psychologist and we discovered that we are not compatible sexually.
She has a very low libido and she does not have any craving for sex (unlike me). I was stunned at this discovery. She knew about this but I was too carried away by other qualities I saw in her.
We prayed, fasted, studied the scriptures together during our courtship but we never discussed our sexual fantasies.
It is important to know your partner’s sexual fantasies and know if you are both sexually compatible.
Don’t assume it is a sin to discuss your sexual fantasies during courtship, let him/her know your ideology and belief about sex.
Some people detest the thought of Oral sex while some have the fantasy of experience it during marriage. Both parties must have the same ideology on this issue in order to avoid conflict on the subject matter.
I once met a christian couple whose only marital issue is on the subject of “Oral sex”…… The husband wants it but the wife cannot bear the sound of the word let alone do it…..
Sex is one of the most prevalent issues in so many Christian marriages…..
Let your partner know if you are someone who plan to explore your sex life in marriage, be sure she shares the same thought…..
There are certain people who love to have sex at least five times weekly while some are satisfied with just once in two weeks, it is an error for two persons with this qualities to get married.
There are so many people in marriage today who are starved sexually and some are being sexually assaulted because of their sexual incompatibility.
Abstain from sex during courtship but make sure you know each other’s sexual fantasies…..
When searching for a God-fearing, industrious, cultured and purpose driven partner, ensure you both discover your sexual comparability….